Reading the China Dream
  • Blog
  • About
    • Mission statement
  • Maps
    • Liberals
    • New Left
    • New Confucians
    • Others
  • People
  • Projects
    • China and the Post-Pandemic World
    • Chinese Youth Concerns
    • Voices from China's Century
    • Rethinking China's Rise
    • Women's Voices
    • China Dream-Chasers
    • Textos en español
  • Themes
    • Texts related to Black Lives Matter
    • Texts related to the CCP
    • Texts related to Civil Religion
    • Texts related to Confucianism
    • Texts related to Constitutional Rule
    • Texts related to Coronavirus
    • Texts related to Democracy
    • Texts related to Donald Trump
    • Texts related to Gender
    • Texts related to Globalization
    • Texts related to Intellectuals
    • Texts related to Ideology
    • Texts related to the Internet
    • Texts related to Kang Youwei
    • Texts related to Liberalism
    • Texts related to Minority Ethnicities
    • Texts related to Socialism with Chinese Characteristics
    • Texts related to Tianxia
    • Texts related to China-US Relations

Beijing Youth Journal on Teen Depression

Zhang Han and Huang Siyun, “After a Child is Diagnosed with Depression, an ‘Experiment’ that Seeks to Cure a Family”[1]
 
Introduction and Translation by David Ownby
 
Introduction
 
The piece translated here was originally published by Beiqing Shenyidu 北青深一度, which might be translated as “Beijing Youth Daily Digs a Little Deeper,” or “The Deeper Side of Beijing Youth Daily.  The Beijing Youth Daily is the official newspaper of the Beijing Municipal Committee of the Communist Youth League of China and is thus part of China’s vast propaganda apparatus.  I do not read Beijing Youth Daily and do not know what regular fare it offers, but the pieces published on the platform Beijing Youth Daily Digs a Little Deeper target current social issues.  I imagine that it is a way for the newspaper to attempt to be relevant and attract readers.
 
The piece was subsequently reprinted on People Magazine 人物, which probably has a wider circulation, as well as on other platforms.  The theme of the article is teen depression and the need to involve all family members in the healing process, and the piece is loosely structured around the experience of one family where the mother, emotionally handicapped by her own childhood experience, verbally abuses and emotionally ignores her teenage daughter while attempting to manage the daughter’s education, as Chinese mothers typically do.  The father is busy at work and has long since decided to avoid his wife’s verbal onslaughts by distancing himself emotionally from the family.  This leaves the mother and daughter in an ongoing battle of nerves that ends with a suicide attempt by the daughter, and a therapeutic intervention.
 
The tone of the piece reminds me of stories from Reader’s Digest that I remembering reading when I was growing up.  Reader’s Digest simplifies everything in ways that can annoy serious readers, but in the pre-Internet age, it played an important role in spreading awareness of certain important issues through its enormous circulation.  This piece in the Beijing Youth Daily does the same thing.  It talks frankly about depression, and particularly teen depression.  It connects teen depression to family structures and one of the biggest problems facing most Chinese families – the pressure built into the educational system (click here for a text on Chinese tiger mothers).  And it depicts parents as flawed and in need of help.  The tone is generally cheery and there is a happy ending, but the point of the piece is to normalize discussions of mental illness and therapy. 
 
This process of normalization has surely been underway for some time, and Li Zhang offers an interesting discussion of the state of mental health and mental health care in China in her Anxious China:  Inner Revolution and Politics of Psychotherapy (2020) for those interested in a more specialized treatment of the topic.  I suspect at the same time this discussion has to do with the stress many Chinese people experienced with the end of the zero-covid policy last December, which of course came on top of the immense stress of three years of living with the pandemic.
 
I found it difficult to translate the heated exchanges between mother and daughter in this piece, because anger and anguish are expressed differently in different cultures.  I finally decided to translate them more or less literally, at the risk of making them sound more “exotic” than they are.  I personally have never been angry enough at anyone to verbally wish they were dead, while the mother and daughter in this story seem to visit this theme with some frequency. 
 
Translation
 
In the public imagination, treatment of teenagers with depression in China generally focuses on the individual teen, with parents always remaining in the background.  These parents are unquestionably “adults,” and have a hard time believing they might be making mistakes that are part of the problem.
 
But now, when a child is treated for depression,[2] parents may well be asked to undergo assessment, consultation, and treatment as well.  Underneath adults’ outwardly strong facades, we might discover personalities that deviate from the norm, coping mechanisms that tend toward infantilization, or strained relationships with their families of origin. Or they might be contending with their own emotional struggles.
 
The China Mental Health Survey shows that there are currently about 95 million people suffering from depression in China. According to the 2022 National Depression Blue Book," patients with depression under the age of eighteen account for 30.28% of the total. In the clinic of the Department of Sleep Psychology of the Guangdong Provincial Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital, many parents understand their own problems for the first time by doing psychological assessments and interviews. But this is only the first step, and parents still need to make changes under the guidance of psychotherapists.
 
If we view the family as a system, it becomes obvious that children are consistently influenced by their parents. Merely addressing the children's issues may not offer a lasting solution in numerous cases, because when they reintegrate into the same dysfunctional family system, the problem is prone to resurface.

Change is never easy. While some parents may initially force themselves to change solely for the sake of their children, these changes are often hard to sustain in the long run. True transformation emerges from a deeper place, and some parents experience a profound shift within themselves when they start to recognize their emotions, observe their behavioral patterns, and gain insight into the underlying reasons behind them.

How effective is this experiment in changing adults? Perhaps the best barometer is the changes in the child.
 
Assessing the Parents

When Xu Yunli, who left school before high school, heard the doctor say, "go do an assessment," she had no idea what it meant. The doctor told her to do it, so she did it.
 
The assessment asked her to assign a number value to numerous things. From "I am completely satisfied with my spouse's feelings for me" to "I feel that my parents were very strict with me" to "I am a generally happy person," she completed the four-part evaluation dealing with marital quality, parenting style, defense mechanisms, and personality. Doctors recommended giving the first answers that came into her head, but she sometimes had a hard time telling how she felt and spent a long time choosing between two options. When she was completing the section on parenting style, painful childhood memories kept resurfacing and she even burst into tears. Xu Yunli hadn't looked deep inside herself for a long time.
 
Xu Yunli was not the patient. She had brought in her high school-aged daughter Chen Keying. Under the academic pressure of her senior year, Chen Keying thought about self-harm and suicide.   She sought online help with a doctor and was advised to seek in-person medical assistance. Xu Yunli was initially skeptical, but after Chen Keying's friend witnessed her suicide attempt, she tearfully told Xu Yunli, "She really has this sickness (depression), she has to see someone."
 
In addition to Chen Keying's suicide risk assessment, depression self-rating and other assessments, Xu Yunli and her husband also had their own assessments to do. The doctor told them to do them independently and not to look at what the other wrote.
 
If a child has a psychological problem, the parents will also need to be assessed. This is an auxiliary diagnostic method introduced by the Department of Sleep Psychology. Conspicuous notices are posted at the entrance to the hospital's consultation rooms and on the self-service kiosk, stating that, "For first-time teenage patients, it is necessary for their parents to schedule an appointment in advance to undergo the joint psychological assessment."  However, most parents do not complete this step in advance. Dr. Li Yan, the department head, always keeps a stack of appointment slips on her desk to give to parents at the end of the consultation.

Since the establishment of the Department of Sleep Psychology in 2005, Li Yan has been serving as an outpatient physician. Initially, only 5% to 10% of the teen-age patients she treated suffered from depression and anxiety, and most mental health issues were primarily genetic. In recent years, however, this proportion has increased to 30% to 40%, with social and psychological stress being the primary causes.
 
The majority of adolescent patients receive a diagnosis of mixed anxiety-depressive disorder, with at least half of these cases being linked to family-related factors. As Li Yan progressed through the treatment phase, she observed that while some children initially experienced an improvement in mood, relapses occurred shortly thereafter. Further research revealed that the primary source of stress was rooted in the family. To improve the accuracy of assessing family factors and enhance treatment effectiveness, Li Yan's department implemented psychological assessments for parents five years ago. Currently, several specialized psychiatric hospitals and tertiary medical centers across the country have adopted similar methods to aid in diagnosis.

The assessment questions are derived from globally recognized measurement instruments, encompassing aspects like personality, coping strategies, marital satisfaction, and parenting styles. When the final score falls outside the normal range, it suggests potential deviations in the parents' personality or behavioral patterns. It is important to note that the scale is not meant for direct diagnosis; instead, it serves as a supplementary tool during the doctor's consultation.

In her outpatient sessions, which typically last between ten to twenty minutes, Li Yan primarily engages with the parents, inquiring about their conversations with their children, often posing the question, "What do you talk about with your child? Many children's health issues can be influenced by their parents."[3] However, she emphasizes the critical need to consider not just family-related factors but also the child's inherent physical constitution, personality traits, the current environment, and any stressful events. She advises against solely attributing all responsibility to the parents.

Psychological assessment is optional. Following the consultation, the majority of parents willingly participate, although doctors occasionally encounter parents who are hesitant. Some parents stand with their arms crossed, questioning the credibility of the results, while others claim to have a background in psychology, saying they already understand it all. There are also parents who plead a lack of time during each visit, and many simply disappear without participating.

Li Yan explained that many of the parents who are unwilling to take the assessments not only do not cooperate with the doctors but are also usually absent from their children's education. Some parents are themselves the cause of their children's illnesses, so they choose to avoid confronting it. In addition, assessments require a certain education level; the parents must at least be able to read and understand basic Chinese.
 
The assessments primarily serve as a tool for parents themselves, rather than just for the doctors. Li Yan pointed out that "When the child is not yet an adult, parents undoubtedly wield the greatest influence." However, in the absence of tangible data, some parents may simply disregard this fact, leading them to decline treatment. Wen Hanyi, a psychotherapist at Guangdong Provincial Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine, adds that if parents deliberately choose only the most positive responses, the assessment results could be skewed. Nevertheless, these results can be corroborated during subsequent interviews by observing family interactions and gathering input from the child.
 
Two Worlds

During the follow-up visit, the doctor reviewed the assessments of all three family members, analyzing them one by one. The results showed that Chen Keying had a high risk of suicide, and her parents’ score that was below the acceptable level. The assessment found that Xu Yunli's parenting style is intense, her approach to dealing with issues is problematic, and she has a distant relationship with her family of origin.
 
When filling out the marriage quality assessment, Xu Yunli checked the most positive answers without hesitation.   Her husband had always been tolerant and supportive of her, and she was "extremely satisfied" with her marriage. So she was surprised to learn that her husband’s assessment was at the opposite extreme – he was “unsatisfied” with the marriage.
 
Xu Yunli felt profoundly disheartened. After returning home, she turned it over and over in her mind, wondering what had made her husband so dissatisfied. Her husband, Chen Dehua, had always known deep down that his wife had a strong personality, and they had never really been able to communicate. He had just taken it over the years, thinking "At age 50, I can't possibly divorce her." The daughter found it a bit funny, saying, "A simple questionnaire almost broke up their marriage." She empathized with her father, as her mother always seemed to exist in her own little world, not realizing how her actions affected others.
 
Chen Keying was the couple’s second child, and her birth had not been easy.  Chen Dehua was busy with business, and Xu Yunli’s job was as a full-time homemaker, taking care of their daughter. Since Chen Keying started elementary school, the television had never been once been turned on. Xu Yunli lied to her, saying that mice had chewed the wires and that they would have to open up a wall to fix it. She also didn't allow her daughter to play with friends, fearing that she might pick up bad habits and that it would negatively impact her studies.
 
In junior high school, Chen Keying's grades consistently ranked around twentieth in her class. There was one occasion when she did a bit better and was upbeat about it in the car on the way home.  Xu Yunli promptly shut her down, saying, "Look at you, showing off again.  You only got to twelfth.  If you want to get into XX school, you’ll have to be in the top five."

Chen Keying's diet and daily life were also tightly controlled. The collars of her uniform had to be properly folded into neat right angles. She could not order takeout or drink milk tea, and could only eat low-oil, low-salt homemade dishes. Every morning, she also had to take a palm-sized nutritional supplement tablet.

Before an English test in the second year of junior high school, Chen Keying felt that something was wrong. She suddenly broke down, crying uncontrollably, pulling her hair, lying on the bed and hitting herself. As a gesture of defiance to her mother, she deliberately answered some questions wrong on the test, causing her class rank to drop into the nineties.

Xu Yunli's reaction was extremely violent. She yelled at Chen Keying while throwing books around, screaming, "Get out!" and "Don't call me your mother!" Throughout the entire summer vacation, Chen Keying was locked in the house and made to study for the coming school year. When her vision became blurry, Xu Yunli took her to the best local optometrist, but the doctor said it wasn't nearsightedness but instead the result of spending too much time inside.  He said she needed to go outside and play. 
 
Chen Keying once asked her mother, "If I didn't have such good grades, would you still consider me as your child?" She remembered her mother's cold-blooded reply, "Of course you have to get good grades, otherwise what will you do?" She felt that from that point on she completely fell apart.
 
In high school, Chen Keying began to live on campus. Although weekend home visits were short, she and her mother fought anyway. Feeling depressed, Chen Keying began to think about suicide yet again. Once on the way back to school, she tentatively asked her mother, "What would happen if I were to die one day?" and her mother answered "Just die then! I don't see you dying, so hurry up and get it over with." Chen Keying got out of the car and never again told her mother what she was thinking.
 
In Xu Yunli's mind, she devoted all her energy to raising her daughter.  Everything she did was to help her daughter, in the hope that she would excel. Although she often spoke to her unpleasantly, in Xu Yunli’s heart her daughter was “like an angel.”  She loves her and “is willing to die for her.” 
 
After Chen Keying was diagnosed with depression, Xu Yunli could not understand it. She kept asking the psychotherapist, "It's impossible. I'm so good to her. Why did this happen? Is my daughter really sick?"
 
This is the initial reaction of many parents when they learn that their child is depressed. Wen Hanyi said that most parents are unwilling to accept that their children have mental illness, even if they know that they themselves have problems.
 
Before continuing with treatment, all parents are encouraged to participate in a session covering fundamental information regarding adolescent depression. Psychotherapist Yang Ruilai underscores the uniqueness of each child, stating, "For instance, a girl might hear a classmate ask, 'Why didn't you tie your hair back today?' Children with robust self-esteem might shrug this off, but those who are more sensitive might find themselves thinking, 'Does she find my hair unattractive? Is she rejecting me?'"
 
Some parents can’t believe that such a trivial remark could trigger such a huge reaction.  So Yang Ruilai gives them another example, "If your child came home from school today and said that he got yelled at in class because the teacher misunderstood what he said, what would you think?" A father raises his hand and says, "That is completely normal.  I would analyze things for my child and explain why the teacher criticized him."
 
At such moments, the worlds of adults and children seem to be disconnected. Yang Ruilai suggested that many parents are not very in touch with their own feelings. "Can they distinguish between anxiety, sympathy for someone else’s pain, and discomfort?  If parents are numb to their own emotions, it will be harder to understand their children's feelings, to say nothing of providing emotional support."
 
A Role-Playing Class

For teenagers who are greatly influenced by familial factors, family therapy is the recommended psychological treatment method. Psychologist Li Songwei once introduced the views of family therapist Fritz B. Simon in a blog post, explaining that the family is a system dedicated to maintaining its own balance. If a change occurs to any person in this system (it does not have to be a change for the worse), the system will be in risk of losing its balance, and everyone in the system will spontaneously make adjustments to try to bring the system back into equilibrium. That's why treating a child's illness requires the participation of the entire family, because only comprehensive change is capable of creating a new state which will be lasting and meaningful. 
 
But once a doctor points out the parents’ problem, will they be willing to do therapy? Li Yan said that there are still many parents who have a hard time understanding the impact of the family as a system on their children and feel that they themselves have no problems.  There are even parents who, “like a nanny,” merely escort their children to the psychiatrist’s office with no intention of participating. There are also parents who come to Li Yan’s clinic and get on their knees to beg for help for their children, but then disappear during the follow-up treatment.
 
She accepted a patient who had already been in treatment for three years. Every time the parents had a fight, the child had a panic attack, and the mother would bring the child in for treatment. The mother never joined in and thought that her marriage had nothing to do with the child, "Other parents fight too, why is he the only one getting sick?" she insisted.  When the treatment achieved at best limited results, the mother wanted Li to take another approach with the child, but Li Yan refused, saying that “treatment will only work if you and your husband change.”
 
The Sleep Department has intensified its family therapy efforts since 2018. However, due to the high patient volume and limited treatment resources, the number of families receiving one-on-one treatment remains limited. As a result, the majority of psychotherapy sessions are conducted in group settings, typically with ten to twenty families participating at the same time. These sessions cover various topics, including parent-child relationships, marital dynamics, and exercises promoting positive thinking.
 
Traditionally, family therapy involves both parents and children participating together. Nevertheless, Wen Hanyi noticed that teenagers often struggle to express themselves openly in front of their parents, leading to a lack of communication. To address this issue, she decided to initially treat parents and children separately, allowing them to stabilize their emotional states individually before engaging in family therapy together.
 
On the recommendation of her doctor, Xu Yunli and her husband enrolled in an eight-week parent-child relationship therapy group, while Chen Keying did individual therapy. They commuted together by subway for an hour and a half each week to reach the hospital. Psychotherapist Yang Dongrong found Xu Yunli particularly impressive. Despite having only an elementary school education, she consistently sat in the front row and eagerly participated in discussions. Yang Dongrong recalled her asking, "Am I doing the right thing for my daughter...?" During a foot acupressure class aimed at improving children's sleep, Xu Yunli removed her socks to locate her own acupressure points. Yang Dongrong was deeply moved, observing that "she couldn't wait to apply everything she had learned to benefit her child."
 
What impressed Xu Yunli the most was a role-playing class. Parents were divided into two groups, first playing the role of parents and then the role of children, doing their best to mimic their usual communication style. "Why are you still awake?  Go to bed! What are doing you eating cold things[4] again?" one parent yelled at Yunli. Having been scolded for a few minutes, Xu Yunli felt like she "wanted to die," and also had emotions that she had never had before:   "So this is what it feels to be yelled at.  So this is what I'm like, a really bad person."
 
When she got home, Xu Yunli told her daughter about the class, repeating the way she had yelled at the other parents. Chen Keying felt that the way she yelled at other parents was much nicer than the way she yelled at her, so she suggested that she be the parent and Xu Yunli the child.  So the mother got down on her knees, feeling that this was a new experience and smiled while her daughter yelled “You get over here right now!  Do you think I’m afraid of you?”
 
Chen Keying’s memories were very fresh, so she repeated all the curses her mother had directed to her:  “Why don’t you just die?  Look at the all the people who died, but not you,” “Get the hell out of here,” “Don’t tell people I’m your mother.”  Xu Yunli gradually fell silent, and finally wrapped herself in a blanket, crying.  Chen Keying had said enough, but her mother seemed to be frightened. The daughter could not help but pat her mother on the back, saying “Don't be afraid, you’re the mother, and I am just the daughter."

During this period, Xu Yunli was overwhelmed by sorrow, reflecting, "I now realize that I'm the one who caused my daughter so much suffering. I truly don't deserve to be a mother." This is an experience many parents undergo—an initial moment of empathizing with their child's pain and genuinely recognizing their own shortcomings. According to Yang Dongrong, such an experience arises from parents' natural love and emotional connection with their children. If parents are psychologically immature or lack affection for their children, they might either deny these revelations or remain unmoved by the experience.
 
One of Yang Dongrong's therapeutic sessions involves a powerful exercise where a parent and child engage in eye contact. Positioned at opposite ends of the room, they lock eyes and slowly approach each other. Yang carefully observes their reactions, noting that some children approach their parents with nervousness, while some mothers begin to shed tears. Yang discovered that the foundation of love varies across different families, ranging from emotionally expressive parents to those whose expressions remain stoic and whose children are consistently hesitant to meet their gaze. Invariably, the former group often experiences more therapeutic benefits than the latter, highlighting the fact that "the flow of parental love forms the bedrock for meaningful transformation."

A Home Experiment

During their initial meeting, Wen Hanyi immediately grasped the dynamics within the Chen family. Xu Yunli stood out as highly expressive, frequently sharing negative emotions and assigning blame to others. Her daughter, influenced by her mother, had adopted a similar mode of self-expression, while her father was always quiet. This pattern is a common one found in many households.
 
Wen Hanyi shared his observations with them. Xu Yunli didn’t know what to do with herself, because she didn't realize the impact of her words and deeds on others. For example, while she clearly wanted to comfort her daughter for not doing having done as well on an exam as they had hoped, what she would say was, "I wasn’t counting on you getting into university anyway." Her husband described her way of speaking as: "The first sentence might be okay, the second will be a bit off, and the third will definitely be negative energy."

Following the profound impact of the role-playing exercise, Xu Yunli warned herself not to hurt her daughter again. In order to avoid saying the wrong thing, she tried to keep herself from talking, reminding herself not to say anything, no matter what.
 
Chen Keying found that her mother was suddenly extremely gentle. She seldom spoke, even when her daughter did something wrong.  When Keying asked for money, her mother would just give it to her.  She even encouraged her to go out and play, and whenever she said anything, she would immediately ask, "Do you feel pressure when I say this? Chen Keying felt a bit scared, "as if the other shoe was about to drop." She was used to how her mother used to be, and could parry every harsh word, but now, she didn't know what to do, and even said to her mother, "You don't need to change, just be like before, okay?" But the father was relieved that at least his wife was beginning to consciously change for the first time, after decades when nothing he said did any good.
 
When they met in therapy again, Wen Hanyi discovered that the family was a bit out of kilter, and they discussed together what adjustments to make. How much could Xu Yunli say? When could she speak? How do other family members feel when she speaks? It's like doing a family experiment, slowly changing, feeling one’s way and adjusting, and then continuing to change until everyone feels comfortable.
 
At the outset, as soon as Xu Yunli started talking, she would quickly start blaming people again. Chen Dehua found this painful, because during the therapy session, his wife was willing to admit her mistakes, but as soon as she left the clinic, she went back to her old ways. "It’s as if her memory lasted only seven seconds," he said. Chen Keying's state also went up and down with her mother’s behavior. After one argument, she locked herself in her room, which made Xu Yunli so anxious that she got Wen Hanyi on the phone, after which Keying opened the door.
 
Wen Hanyi tried to get Xu Yunli to slow down. At first, he asked Chen Dehua to try to intervene and remind Xu Yunli to stop yelling, but that did not work. They also thought about recording the fights to make Xu Yunli restrain herself, but as soon as the argument started, everyone got worked up and no one thought to turn on the recorder. Xu Yunli also tried writing down what she wanted to say on her mobile phone to have a look. When she realized how hurtful the words were, she immediately deleted them.
 
After many fruitless attempts, they found that auditory stimulation was most effective for Xu Yunli. Chen Dehua bought three small yellow gongs, one for the living room and two for the bedrooms. Whenever Xu Yunli’s interventions started to get on Keying’s nerves, he would walk over and strike the gong. If she didn’t stop, he would hit it again and then hit it harder, until came to her senses and realized that she had started to yell again. Gradually, Xu Yunli would stop on her own as soon as she saw the gong.
 
Wen Hanyi also asked Xu Yunli and her daughter to write down their feelings in a diary every day to enhance their awareness and control of their own emotions. In order to avoid making unconscious mistakes, Xu Yunli had gotten used to apologizing. When she goes out to walk the dog, she immediately apologizes to passers-by for any imagined infraction the dog might have made.   Chen Keying found that as her mother's output of negative emotions decreased, her own mood became more stable.
 
How Does Change Happen?

Xu Yunli rarely takes her two children back to her hometown because she doesn't want to deal with her family. While the family was in therapy, however Xu Yunli's father's had his birthday, and they had to visit. At the time, Xu was suffering from arthritis and dragged her feet when she walked, but none of her family members expressed any sympathy, and her older brother said: "Dad doesn’t complain about his legs or his feet.  What’s your problem?"  Other family members said:  "You’re so lazy that this disease must be caused by laziness. I don’t feel bad for you.  Think about whether you brought this on yourself."
 
While they were with her family, Xu Yunli and Chen Keying both felt depressed. When Xu Yunli saw her daughter holding her head and pulling her hair, she knew it was a sign of illness. After she returned home, Chen Keying started cutting herself again. She felt sorry for her mother, but she also understood that her mother's problems came from her family and were passed on to her. Xu Yunli also realized that her natural way of speaking, acting, and feeling were all products of her family life and were difficult to control. Her husband and children were both "victims.

Xu Yunli reminded Li Yan of many parents she has seen.  "Many people of previous generations grew up in an environment with insufficient resources, meaning that no one took care of the parents," she noted.  As the pace of social life accelerates, parents don’t know how to deal with their own anxiety. She hopes that parents will come to realize own problems but at the same time not put too much pressure on themselves.

Wen Hanyi said that while parents initially seek therapy to mend their relationship with their children, the therapeutic journey can also facilitate their own healing and personal growth. Moreover, behavioral patterns within family dynamics often have a ripple effect on other aspects of their lives. For instance, one mother, following therapy, transitioned from being assertive to adopting a gentler approach. She also became more tolerant and accepting of mistakes made by her colleagues at work.

Of the adolescents treated by Wen Hanyi , roughly 30 to 40 percent have good outcomes. In families with poor outcomes, the parents are often less motivated to change, believing that there is nothing wrong with them. In such cases, therapy can only have a stabilizing effect on the child's mood, and sometimes even the child may wonder about the sustainability of the change, "Am I getting better? Will things change back again when I get home?"
 
Some parents openly tell their child during therapy that they have changed "for you." They may suppress certain emotions and personal needs, forming an attachment in an attempt to alleviate their child's symptoms. However, these changes tend to be difficult to sustain. Even if the child's mood initially improves, later stages often witness significant fluctuations, leading to a loss of faith in the new model of family unity. The child's behavior serves as an effective gauge of whether the parents' transformation is truly heartfelt.
 
Prior to this year's college entrance examination, Wen Hanyi conducted a follow-up visit with Chen Keying, who had overcome her suicidal tendencies and achieved a semblance of emotional stability. Breaking free from years of inaction to bring about change is a big challenge. Xu Yunli, while still cautious about not engaging in extended conversations with her daughter, now finds enjoyment in chatting and is in the process of gauging the appropriate "scale" of communication with her.
 
After the exam, Chen Keying was fiddling with the TV when the screen suddenly lit up, and she realized that the dusty machine had never actually broken down. Her mother, who had always been overly anxious, now supported her decision to study abroad. At the age of 18, Chen Keying finally enjoyed the freedom to watch TV and indeed displayed a much greater sense of independence.

Notes

[1]张涵, 黄思韵, “孩子得了抑郁症之后,一个家庭的治疗’实验,’” published in People 人物/Renwu on September 11, 2023.
 
[2]Translator’s note:  The text literally says “when a child is brought to the hospital because of depression当孩子因抑郁情绪被带到医院,” which in English suggests a severe depression requiring immediate  intervention and supervision.  I think here “hospital” might be interchangeable with “clinic” in Chinese, as the case discussed does not seem quite so serious.

[3]Translator’s note:  Literally, “many children fall ill for their parents 很多孩子是替父母生病.”  The word ti/替 means to take the place of someone, to do something on behalf of someone or for someone.  I don’t know if the usage here is idiomatic or perhaps related to the importance of the family in Chinese psychology.

[4]Translator’s note:  This does not refer to cold pizza, as is would in the case of an American teenager, but rather to Chinese beliefs about balancing “hot” and “cold” types of food so as to maintain a healthy equilibrium in the body.  See here for a basic overview.

    Subscribe for fortnightly updates

Submit
This materials on this website are open-access and are published under a Creative Commons 3.0 Unported licence.  We encourage the widespread circulation of these materials.  All content may be used and copied, provided that you credit the Reading and Writing the China Dream Project and provide a link to readingthechinadream.com.

Copyright

  • Blog
  • About
    • Mission statement
  • Maps
    • Liberals
    • New Left
    • New Confucians
    • Others
  • People
  • Projects
    • China and the Post-Pandemic World
    • Chinese Youth Concerns
    • Voices from China's Century
    • Rethinking China's Rise
    • Women's Voices
    • China Dream-Chasers
    • Textos en español
  • Themes
    • Texts related to Black Lives Matter
    • Texts related to the CCP
    • Texts related to Civil Religion
    • Texts related to Confucianism
    • Texts related to Constitutional Rule
    • Texts related to Coronavirus
    • Texts related to Democracy
    • Texts related to Donald Trump
    • Texts related to Gender
    • Texts related to Globalization
    • Texts related to Intellectuals
    • Texts related to Ideology
    • Texts related to the Internet
    • Texts related to Kang Youwei
    • Texts related to Liberalism
    • Texts related to Minority Ethnicities
    • Texts related to Socialism with Chinese Characteristics
    • Texts related to Tianxia
    • Texts related to China-US Relations